Don't Say You Love Me (Unless Forever)
by Cyanide-Ocean
Summary: Things are great until the stress from distance become too much causing Chloe to call off the relationship, ending things on a sour note. When Chloe's injured in a car accident, Beca knows if she doesn't get over her grudge to go see Chloe, she may not get a second chance at their relationship. Beca's feelings are challenged when Aubrey confesses to having loved Beca all this time.
1. It's a Date

Sprawled out on her bed, just about ready to turn in for the night, Chloe picked up her phone, and dialed a number that she could recite to someone in her sleep. "Hey, I miss you. Let's hang out sometime," Chloe murmured over the phone, when the other woman picked up. Her voice was soft, almost melancholic, but she did her best to smile despite the fact that Beca wouldn't be able to see it. She couldn't explain why she felt so dismal - perhaps it was because she was going into withdrawal from not seeing the brunette in months after having adjusted to laying eyes on the now-sophmore everyday.

"Yeah, of course. I... I miss you too, Chloe," the corners of Beca's lips curled into a faint smile. She hadn't heard from the former Bella's voice in nearly a month though they had been texting all throughout the summer. "You okay though? You sound kind of down."

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just miss you and I'm tired. What are you doing Saturday night?."

Beca was skeptical of Chloe's answer, but decided not to press the matter. Even though she disliked talking about feelings and all of that emotional jazz - avoiding it whenever she possibly could - she found herself deeply caring for the older woman and would be willing to tread into that conversational territory if she needed. "That works. Dinner then? Or should I just swing by your apartment and eat before hand?"

"Dinner at eight if you don't mind staying in. I'll cook," Chloe promised.

"Sounds like a date, " a soft chuckle escaped from Beca's mouth, but was cut short as she hung up. She knew her choice in words would cause the former Bella to toss and turn in her bed that night as she tried to fall asleep, her brain too preoccupied, however, with trying to decipher if the brunette had meant 'date' in a friendly way or as an actual date. Beca knew it was somewhat uncharacteristic to be the flirt, but she couldn't pass up this chance. Besides, it was just a small way to get back at Chloe for her relentless flirting, not that the younger woman had minded at all - she didn't, secretly enjoying ever second of it.

Just as Beca predicted, Chloe had a difficult time falling asleep that night. She wondered if the current Bellas leader had called the time they had set to spend time together as an actual date or just meant it loosely as a scheduled day that two friends were to hang out together. After what seemed liked hours, sleep finally crept up on Chloe and she was at last able to drift off into a restless slumber.

Having no other plans for the day, Beca spent nearly her whole Saturday cooped up in her room, working on remixes. She'd been so absorbed in her work that taking a break to find nourishment had completely slipped her mind, so when the alarm on her phone notified her that it was 6:30p and she should start getting ready to depart for Chloe's, her stomach let out an audible growl. Changing into more suitable everyday wear from the flannel pajama pants and black tank top she wore to bed every night, the sophmore grabbed up a her grey jacket and headed out the door.

Chloe's apartment was about a thirty minute walk away from Barden if done at a brusque pace. Hurrying along the dark streets, giant headphones covering her ears to drown out the world around her, Beca finally reached her destination and not a moment too soon.

The former Bella buzzed her in and when the brunette had climbed the two flights of stairs, and saw Chloe standing in the threshold down the hallway, Beca instantly noticed her hair.

"You've gone blonde," she noted, trotting up to Chloe.

"Yeah, I thought it was time for a change. What do you think?" The blonde smiled, stepping to the side, allowing for Beca to enter, as she shut the door behind the younger woman.

"It's different," Beca shrugged. "A good different, though. I like it."

"Glad you do," a satisfied smile graced the taller woman's features. "Dinner's on the table, by the way. I'll take your jacket."

Beca moved from the doorway, handing her jacket over, and pulled out a seat from the table, which had been neatly set for two.

"I just made spaghetti, so nothing fancy," Chloe called to her as she hung up Beca's jacket before padding over to the table and followed suit, pulling out the chair opposite from the brunette and sat down.

"That's fine - anything is good at this point. I haven't eaten all day," the sophmore explained.

"So..." Chloe muttered hesitantly as Beca piled the food onto her plate. "About this date..." She trailed off, hoping her companion would clear up her confusion.

"What about it?" Beca asked, looking up, passing the tongs to Chloe. "It's just as it sounds."

"Well, I know that, but are we... Is this just as friends or...?" The blonde shifted in her seat uneasily, as she received the utensil from Beca.

"Do you want it to be more than as friends?" The brunette knew she wasn't helping Chloe out at all - doing the exact opposite in fact. But she needed the other woman to be the one to say it; to be the one to propose dating, not the other way around. Beca feared being the one to ask for more than just Chloe's friendship just to be told no as she valued what she currently had with the former Bella more than anything else - something that terrified the brunette as she feared growing too attached to something so intangible that she could easily lose at the drop of a hat.

Chloe let out an exasperated sigh, tucking a few stray strands of hair behind her ear. "I really like you Beca - as in really like you - and I would love if we could, you know, be more than just friends - if we could date. But I don't want to push you into something you don't want because whatever happens, I want to be able to still have you as a friend. A best friend," she corrected herself. Best friends weren't something that was easy for Chloe to gain. Despite her bubbly and incredibly friendly personality, Chloe didn't have the easiest time meeting people who she trusted enough to call a best friend. Though she liked to give off a care-free impression, she was well aware of the easy betrayal and deceit that could occur should she let just anyone too close. So although she had many friends, Aubrey was her one and only best friend. Well, aside from Beca.

"I really like you too, Chloe," Beca smiled warmly at the woman sitting across from her. "And I'd be happy to date you," she added with a murmur


	2. Skyping

As the start of the school year approached, Chloe offered to help move Beca into her dorm, much to the brunette's gratitude. She hadn't wanted to have her move in day be another attempted bonding session with her father as he tried yet again to bring her and the step-monster closer together, or at least reach some sort of middle ground. And so dismissing his insistent offers to assist in Beca getting resettled at Barden, Chloe stopped by in her car to help load up the sophmore's things.

The drive consisted of light hearted chatter - just a casual conversation with Chloe stealing many glances at her girlfriend who sat beside her, catching the blonde every time as she smirked in response.

"Hey, I was thinking," Chloe began, changing the subject from how Beca predicted this year's acapella season would go and offering helpful tips. "When we can't see each other, we could maybe have Skype dates," a timid smile graced her features.

"Skype dates? How would that work out?" The whole dating scene in general was somewhat foreign territory for Beca as she hadn't seriously dated anyone else before Chloe. Her last relationship being short lived and could barely even be considered a fling as she and the other guy barely spent any time together.

"One of us would call the other and we'd video chat, of course!" The blonde laughed.

"Well obviously, but how would that be a date?"

"Because we'd be able to see each other, silly," Chloe laughed as if that were the obvious answer. "And then if there was anything we wanted to do like watch a movie together we could do that through screen sharing."

"Oh, well okay then. That works," she smiled, the brunette's shoulders raised and fell in a shrug, still not completely comprehending how that could be considered a date. But if that was the only way to see and speak to each other online, then she supposed it could come mildly close to being just that.

Pulling into the designated parking space, Chloe leaned over and gave Beca a light kiss on the younger woman's cheek, her lips just barely brushing the cool flesh as the seatbelt restrained her from getting closer.

After a few flights up the stairs of her residence hall, the pair had finally brought all of the sophmore's things to her new room. Chloe helped Beca put the sheets on her bed before moving on to unpack the brunette's textbooks, placing them on the white shelves built into the wall above the bed as the shorter woman cautiously placed all of the equipment that she used to make her remixes onto her desk, careful not to damage any of it.

"So who's your room mate this year?" Chloe piped up after the duo had finished getting Beca settled in.

"I'm in a single," the brunette smiled, pleased to not have to worry about having any room mate trouble. Although Kimmy Jin, her former room mate from her first year at Barden, hadn't been awful as the two somewhat tolerated each other, it wasn't the most ideal of situations to be in. Fortunately for the brunette, Barden had enough rooms so that some people could have single.

"Ooh? Then I won't have to worry about someone walking in on us," the former Bella purred.

Beca opened her mouth to make a comment, but closed it, deciding it would probably be best to say nothing. However, Chloe, who caught the brunette second guessing her initial decision to speak, wasn't going to let it slide.

"What? You were definitely about to say something," a mischievous smile stretched across Chloe's lips.

"I think you know - it wasn't that hard to figure out," the younger woman shrugged.

"But I might not, which is why you should tell me," the graduate grinned, refusing to let Beca get away with this one.

The Bella let out a groan, raking a hand through her hair and let out a sigh. "I was thinking that what you said sounded as if the room mate would walking in on sex. Except that wouldn't be possible since you'd be elsewhere," she quickly added.

"But I'll be here sometimes," Chloe gave an assured nod, to which Beca only rolled her eyes and shook her head, but the smirk nullified any negative connotations.

"You like me though, which is how you know I'm right."

"I do," a soft chuckle tumbled from the brunette's lips.

"And now, as much as I don't want to, I have to dash off. But before I go, what are you doing tonight?"

"Uh... Nothing that I can think of right now. Why?"

"Good! We can have a Skype date then," an excited grin stretched from ear to ear on Chloe's face. She took hold of Beca's wrist and pulled the sophmore into a short kiss before turning to leave.

Patting down her pants pockets, the brunette checked to make sure she had her room key and phone before heading out the door to meet Fat Amy at the activities fair. Now that she had been bestowed with the title "Leader of The Barden Bellas," Beca was also in charge of recruiting new members and had chosen Fat Amy to be her co-leader.

"Heeey, how's the captain? Ready to force a few girls to join us?" Fat Amy greeted Beca as the sophmore approached their table.

"No, but I don't really have much choice," she rolled her eyes, not looking forward to handing out flyers.

"We can always ask them if this smells like chloroform," the blonde pulled out a rag from her back pocket.

"Did you really bring a chloroform rag with you?" Beca's eyes widened in surprise.

"Do you want to smell it to check?"

"I'm good, but thanks," the brunette arched an eyebrow, smirking.

For the next couple of hours, the pair passed out fliers, Beca doing her best to smile through the whole event and Fat Amy making her, well, it was hard to describe the blonde's commentary other than it was very Fat Amy-esque. Perhaps somewhat quirky, though to most just downright confusing as those who didn't know Fat Amy had the tendency to struggle with deciding if she was being serious or not.

"Looks like you didn't print enough," Fat Amy commented as Beca passed out the last of the flyers. This year the flyers had gone like hot cakes since The Bellas' win the previous year, a much larger amount of the other female students wanting to audition.

"I didn't think the turn out would be this big." She was honestly surprised herself to see how many people had wanted to try out, the thought that a capella was a big deal at Barden still having yet to completely sink in. "Anyway, the activities fair is over so we're fine. I'll see you at auditions if not before then," she smiled at the blonde as she removed the sign and banner from their table.

Beca shoved the their advertisements into the corner of her room as she sat down to work on a remix for a few hours. However, blending the tracks she wanted together caused the brunette to lose track of time, and when she looked at the digital clock in the corner of her computer's screen, she cringed seeing 9:30p. Hastily gathering up her black, fuzzy bathrobe and basket that held her shampoo and conditioner and headed for the showers.

Tossing the bathrobe over the shower curtain pole and turning the faucet on, the sophmore found herself with a faint smile. It was strange to think that at this exact time last year she had been the one standing at The Bellas' table, looking at both Aubrey and Chloe as if they were insane for wanting to do a capella, thinking it was incredibly lame sounding. Although she did still think the whole a capella thing was still a little strange, she'd come to love the "awesome nerds," as she dubbed her new friends. And she'd only showed up to the auditions because, well, because of Chloe. The then-redhead had intrigued her like no one else had before. Perhaps it was the older woman's spunky and confident personality that drew her in. Not to mention how gutsy the former Bella had been cornering Beca in the shower, locking the brunette into singing with her. The sophmore would've been lying, however, had she claimed to not have enjoyed it if only just a smidgen. Okay, maybe a lot more than that, but who could blame her? Attractive woman walking into your shower? It was hard to not enjoy it albeit secretly.

The memory only caused Beca's smile to widen as she began to softly sing the lyrics to Titanium, silently wishing Chloe would appear on the other side of the curtain, but of course there would be no such luck as the blonde was back at her apartment.

"Waiting..!" Beca remembered, hurrying to finish her shower. Chloe was probably on Skype waiting for the younger woman to log on.

Turning off the water, the Bella threw on her bathrobe and gathered up her shower things, making her way back to her room.

Yanking on a white t-shirt and putting on a pair of light grey sweats, Beca sat herself down on her chair and opened Skype. No sooner had her status icon turned green before she received an incoming call from Chloe.

"Hey, can you hear me?" The blonde's voice resonated excitedly through the computer. "Turn on your camera."

"I am, I am," Beca sighed, chuckling softly to herself as she clicked on the video button.

An involuntary grin stretched across Beca's lips when she saw Chloe.

"I've missed you, Beca," she smiled, knowing exactly what the brunette had noticed. The blonde wore a thin, transparent, black robe over lacy, red lingerie, which was pulled down to expose her left shoulder.

"Oh my god, Chloe," the younger woman laughed, covering her mouth with her hand, not having expected this at all.

"You like?"

"Well I can't see it all, but I'm assuming the rest is very nice," a second laugh came from Beca.

"Naughty, Beca! I was talking about video chatting! But... I can show you the rest of what's underneath the rode too," Chloe feigned having to think about the decision before slipping off the robe to reveal the full bra to the brunette.

Beca could feel her face flush, as a warm rush bloomed from her cheeks. Still grinning, she couldn't help but steal a look only to turn away nervously shortly after.

"Oh hey, what's this?" She asked, pulling out a scrap of paper, from her suitcase that had been lying at the bottom.

"Just a small note I left you," the former Bella replied casually, a sly smile tugged at the corners of her lips.

_Dear Beca,_

_I miss you and hope you have fun with The Bellas this year. I'll miss going to rehearsals every day and seeing you, but that's why we have Skype! Bring another victory to The Bellas this year!_

_Chloe_

"And then a heart with your name. Aw, thank you," Beca smiled warmly when she finished.

"Now I have a favour to ask of you," the blonde purred.

"Yes, what's the catch?" The sophmore turned her head at an angle, eyeing the other woman skeptically, the smile still present.

"Will you give me a kiss?"

"How? You're not here," the brunette looked at her girlfriend perplexed.

"You can kiss the camera!" The older woman grinned.

"What No way, that's weird," Beca scrunched up her face.

"Please?" Chloe pouted, giving the brunette puppy dog eyes.

"Oh my god," Beca laughed, covering her face with both her hands.

"Please?" The graduate repeated, her expression remaining the same.

"Fine, I will," the brunette sighed although smiling regardless. She shifted in her seat, uncrossing her legs which had been crossed the whole time, and stood up, pulling the computer closer to her as she bit down on her bottom lip before giving the camera a kiss.

"Thank you," Chloe giggled from her end, grinning at Beca.

"Yeah, yeah," the brunette grumbled, though she hadn't really minded.

"Now, I know it's late so I'll let you sleep even though I know you wish I didn't have to hang up, though I have to wake up early too, but one thing before I let you go," the blonde hummed.

"Yeah?" The graduate was right, Beca _didn't_ want end the conversation; she'd have willingly sacrificed her sleep to stay up all night speaking to Chloe, but knowing that the other woman had to get up too caused the sophmore to bite her tongue.

"I'm really happy you're my girlfriend. You know that, right?"

"I know," Beca nodded slowly, a loving smile instinctively took over her face. "I'm happy you're my girlfriend too, Chloe."

The blonde grinned, satisfied with how the date had gone and blew Beca a kiss.


	3. No Longer Needed

For the next couple of months, the two women would spend the weekends together when they could and Skyped during the week. It wasn't always easy, not being able to see each other as much as they'd like, but it worked for now as they promised it wouldn't always have to be this way.

Beca woke one Friday morning to the sound of her phone buzzing, indicating an incoming text. Not uncommon as Chloe liked to leave her good morning messages, but this seemed different.

_'Good morning, Beca. I hope you have a nice day.'_

To anyone else, nothing may pop out upon reading it, but when Chloe sent her such texts, it always carried more enthusiasm with them. Yet this seemed vacant of any emotion - perhaps even borderline cold.

_'Is everything okay?' _Beca replied before rolling out of bed. She rummaged through her closet and picked out a pair of jeans and a black shirt.

Once she'd finished making sure she had everything she needed, she grabbed up her phone and headed out the door.

_'Yeah, everything is fine - just sick,' _was the blonde's reply.

Walking brusquely across the campus towards the building where her first class of the morning was, Beca hastily tapped her reply into her phone.

_'Should I not come over tonight?'_

_'Do. If you don't mind the sickness.'_

_'Okay, I'll be there after my last class ends.'_

The rest of the day felt as if it'd never end as Beca grew more and more antsy as she impatiently waited for the clock on the wall to read 1:20p. When the class was finally dismissed, wasted no time in rushing out the doors as she hurried to Chloe's apartment. Halfway there, Beca's phone vibrated in her pocket.

"Hello?" The brunette answered, not having looked at the caller ID beforehand.

"It's me," Chloe replied meekly through the speaker.

"Oh, hey. How are you feeling?"

"I lied, I'm not sick," the graduate muttered.

"Okay..." Now Beca was confused. Chloe never lied to her before and she didn't understand why she'd feel the need to do so. Whatever it was that she wanted to say, the brunette knew she wouldn't laugh or jeer at her. Beca found herself feeling rather hurt that Chloe felt the need to hide the truth from her, whatever that may be.

"I'm sorry Beca. Are you alone?" She did her best to keep her composure while she spoke, but even she could hear her voice fluctuate as it cracked.

"I'm outside, almost at your place... Do you want me to turn around?"

Chloe debated whether or not she was willing to see her girlfriend's face when she broke the news to her or not, but eventually her nerves won, draining any courage she'd manage to gather.

"I'm really sorry, but could you? I'm not actually at home anyway," she sniffled.

"Chloe, you're scaring me. What's going on?" Beca asked sternly.

"Just tell me when you get back to your room and I'll tell you, okay?"

"Fine," the brunette sighed, hanging up.

Now she wasn't only hurt, but also irked as well. She hadn't the faintest idea of what was going on with the blonde other than something clearly wasn't right. Shoving her phone back into her jeans' pocket, the Bella half-jogged back to her room, needing to know what it was Chloe had wanted to say.

"I'm back," Beca replied when the older woman answered her call.

"Beca, I... I can't do this anymore," Chloe's lips curled inwards as she slid the phone away from her ear momentarily, tears beginning to well at the corner of her eyes before silently rolling down her cheeks.

"Can't do what, Chloe? Stop being so vague," the brunette's tone came out more harshly than she'd intended and felt a pang of guilt, but didn't bother to apologize.

"Us, Beca. I can't do us. The distance, how little I get to see of you... I can't do it anymore, Beca," the former Bella sobbed into the phone.

"Are you really breaking up with me, Chloe? Over the phone?" Beca exclaimed, bewildered. She would've expected that her girlfriend, well ex now, would've at least had the decency to do it to her face.

"I'm sorry!" The graduate cried out, "I didn't - don't - want to, but I can't handle it anymore! You're still at Barden and I have my job and it's always so hectic and we don't get to see each other that much. I just can't do it," her voice picked up in speed as the older woman fired off excuses to not be with Beca.

"Fine. Fine! I get it, Chloe, you want to move on with your life and I'm only dragging you down. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough, but maybe you should've thought about this before you asked me to be your girlfriend. This is exactly why I don't let people in, you know - they always push me away or leave me behind in the end. I thought maybe things would be different with you, but clearly I was mistaken, so it's fine. It was my fault for being so naive in thinking that maybe I really had a shot with you. And you know what, Chloe? You could've at least told me this in person so it wouldn't make me feel so shitty - like I wasn't even worth the effort," Beca didn't like what she was saying, each word being spat out angrily, but once she started she couldn't stop herself. The brunette didn't want, or mean, to guilt trip Chloe, but she was hurting too and this was her way of defending herself - attacking the other person where it hurt.

"Beca, I didn't know! I thought we could work too! If I knew for even a second that this would happen I never would've asked you to date me! I got scared, okay?! I wanted to tell you all this to your face, but I chickened out. Please understand, Beca, I didn't mean to make you feel like I was only leading you on, because that wasn't my intent. I _really_ like you," Chloe covered her face as she turned down an empty street.

"Not enough to try and make this work, though," Beca grumbled.

"I'm-"

"Don't even say you're sorry, Chloe, because you're not. Not sorry enough to at least try. I have to go," Beca cut the blonde off coldly then promptly hung up when she'd finished speaking before the graduate could get another word in, ignoring the next four attempts that Chloe made to call back.

Beca was done; she didn't want to deal with anymore right now. Snatching up her pillow, the brunette let out a frustrated, muffled yell. She was thoroughly pissed. How dare Chloe so suddenly end things, and over the phone no less, without even telling her that she was beginning to doubt her ability to keep up the relationship? Perhaps it was better this way, though, because now the sophomore could now immerse herself into her school work, her remixes, and focus on The Bellas and getting them to another win at the ICCA this year. Chloe would just be a distraction that Beca didn't need. With a confident nod as she wiped away the tears she hadn't even realized she'd been crying until one fell onto her hand, Beca convinced herself she was better off without Chloe.


	4. Things Better Left Unsaid

It'd been a week since the break up and neither Beca or Chloe had spoken to each other. Both women kept up a strong front, convincing themselves this was good for them - to be apart from each other. Chloe told herself that she didn't need Beca as dating the brunette would be like dragging around an anchor from her university days. And now that she'd graduated and had a job as a dance teacher, she needed to move on, which also meant letting Beca go. Beca, on the other hand, needed to be devoting her time to creating mash-ups and working on the set list and choreography for The Bellas between her own remixes and assignments for classes - not pouring so much effort into a relationship that may or may not have gone anywhere.

At first none of the other Bellas questioned why Chloe stopped visiting to say hi after rehearsals, why Beca would, after much coaxing, admit to being free nearly every weekend, why she barely ever brought the blonde up in conversation. But of course it was only a matter of time before someone noticed.

"How come you never talk about Chloe anymore?" Stacie inquired one day at the end of rehearsal.

"What do you mean? I do still," Beca hadn't realized how much she had, in fact, mentioned Chloe's name either deliberately or in passing while they had been together.

"You're also always available to hang out with us, even when you say you're not," Fat Amy added with a mutter.

"Working on my music takes time," Beca grumbled.

"Okay, you need weekends to do that, but you never mention _going_ to Chloe's or being busy any other time for your Skype dates or anything," Stacie pressed.

Beca sighed, raking a hand through her hair. "Fine," she sighed, "Chloe and I broke up. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"Of course we don't want to hear you two ended things-" Cynthia Rose began.

"But we want to know why," Fat Amy interjected.

"Not what I was going to say. I was going to say that we're sorry things ended. I guess we were just curious as to why she never came by anymore because she's still our friend too."

"And we still want to know why you guys stopped dating," Fat Amy repeated under her breath.

"Well now you know and you guys have her number, I thought. You can all text her if you want, and we broke up because the distance was too much for her," Beca shrugged, frustration beginning to bubble inside her the more the conversation dragged on.

"But she won't come, would she," Stacie spoke up again.

"I can leave then. Look, I'm done talking about this," Beca stated, grabbing up her bag and marched out of the room.

"I think we pushed it," Cynthia Rose sighed.

"She is our friend too, though, as you pointed out. We were just asking," the tall brunette shrugged, though she knew Cynthia Rose had made a good point. perhaps they had pushed Beca too far, but at least now they all knew the situation - at least enough to stop asking anyway.

As Beca pulled out the key to her room, she noticed the second set of keys. She'd been meaning to drop those off at Chloe's apartment, but hadn't had the chance. Checking the time on her phone, the brunette figured that she still had about an hour if she rushed to leave it at the blonde's place before she returned from work.

Tossing her things to the side of her room, Beca closed the door and hurried off towards Chloe's hoping that the blonde wouldn't today of all days to leave early. She had nothing to say to Chloe anymore and she was doing well without her, or so she kept telling herself on a loop. Deep down, however, Beca knew it was all a lie; the pain of missing Chloe was excruciating, and the absence of the blonde's presence caused Beca to be unable to give anything her full attention - especially when working with the other Bellas. She did enjoy it although she may not so openly admit it, but being with them only served as a reminder of how she had initially only joined the a capella group because of Chloe.

Finally managing to get the last key off her key ring, the brunette set them down on the table. She debated whether or not to leave a note, but decided against it. Better stick to the plan of saying nothing, right? But just as she was getting ready to go, Chloe opened the door and froze when she spotted the sophomore.

"What are you doing here?" She questioned incredulously, eyeing the shorter woman.

"I only came to return your keys," the brunette replied coldly and began to head towards the front door.

"Wait," Chloe blocked the younger woman from leaving.

"What do you want, Chloe?"

"I want to talk to you."

"There's nothing to say," the sophomore snapped.

"Then listen to me," Chloe's voice rose unintentionally, but it managed to silence Beca, who begrudgingly turned on her heel and took a seat in one of the large chairs in the living room.

Chloe didn't bother with any pleasantries knowing that Beca would only up and leave if she tried, so instead the blonde got straight to the point.

"You barely heard me out that afternoon!" Her voice crescendoed instantly as searing words tumbled from her lips, "I know I should've broken up with you in person and I'm sorry I let myself get scared, okay? But don't you dare think for one second that doing it over the phone made it any easier for me, Beca, because it didn't! You act like you're the only one hurting right now, but you're not - I am too, you know. I didn't like what I did to you because the last thing I ever wanted was to hurt you," tears were once again streaming down the blonde's face as she took her turn to yell at the woman before her, who only glared at her.

"If you didn't like it, then why did you do it? You can't break up with someone expecting they're not going to be upset, Chloe!" Beca hissed.

"I told you why I ended things; I couldn't deal with the distance and hardly ever being able to see you anymore now that school's started up for you and I have my job that keeps me busy," she replied between gasps for air.

"Do you even miss me?" Beca challenged, not sure what kind of a response she was going to receive.

"Of course I miss you, Beca! Every day I miss you! I told you it wasn't easy for me either! Not when I love you!" Chloe's eyes widened as she clapped a hand over her mouth. That last confession was meant to be kept as her own private secret, not to be shared with anyone.

"You what?" The brunette leaned back in her seat, placing a hand to her forehead before moving it again to cover her mouth, forcing herself to think about what she was going to say next without carelessly blurting something out. She watched as the older woman began to walk away to her window as if needing a moment as well to separate herself from the situation before returning to face whatever venomous words the brunette would inevitably spew at her. "You can't tell me those things now - not _after _you've broken up with me, Chloe! Do you realize how unfair that is? You tell me you miss me constantly, that you love me too, and yet even if I felt the same way I wouldn't be able to do anything about it because you refuse to give us another chance," Beca was seething with rage at how things were unfolding. She'd hoped to drop off the keys and be out of there - not sitting here listening to the things the blonde should've told her while they were together or not at all.

"Do you love me?" Chloe questioned.

"It doesn't matter now."

"It does to me, though," the blonde pleaded.

"Why? So you can tell me you're sorry again and it's too late so while you like knowing I may or may not love you too you'll still refuse to let us work out? No thanks," Beca scoffed.

"Fine, forget I said anything then! Why do you always have to make things so difficult?!"

"Me? You can't completely blame me for how this has turned out! You're not making it any easier either, telling me you love me and all that crap just to throw it back in my face with the fact it won't make any difference what my feelings are whatsoever because you've made up your mind and that's that. I'm tired of getting hurt, Chloe," Beca rose to her feet and walked towards the door, stopping in the threshold. "I'm sorry I ever came back. I should've just mailed the damn keys to you. And for the record, Chloe, I do love you. Too bad you've made up you're mind, though because there's no turning back now," the brunette muttered, closing the door behind her.


	5. Third Time Should Be The Charm

Since the confrontation between herself and Chloe, it had become increasingly more difficult for Beca to hide how upset she truly was over how things ended. Although she refused to let her personal problem with Chloe interfere with the rest of her life, her irritation with others was more easily triggered - even by the most trivial of things such as someone asking her a simple question. Whenever the brunette's moodiness was questioned, she rotated between her replies of "Sorry, having a bad day, I'm just really tired," or "I haven't eat yet." For a while people believed her, but Beca could only use those lies so many times before someone caught on.

"We all discussed this and think you should try to talk to Chloe," Stacie mentioned after rehearsals one night.

"I don't know why you feel the need to concern yourselves with my personal life, but it's none of your business what I do or don't do outside of The Bellas," Beca growled. "And just to say, I did talk to her and it didn't go well. We're done - there isn't a Chloe and me and there won't be again. Now if you're done talking about my non-existent relationship, I have to go."

"We're your friends, Beca, you can talk to us," Cynthia Rose did her best to sympathize with the sophomore, knowing how painful a break up could be thanks to her fallout with Denise, which caused her to take on a gambling problem.

"Why are you shutting us out, Beca?" Jessica asked meekly, not wanting Beca to snap at her too.

"Yeah, well, I shut everybody out. Don't take it personally. It's just easier," the sophomore muttered. "And anyway, there's nothing to say. Chloe and I broke up and we're not going to get back together. That's all there is to it," her shoulders rose and fell heavily in an exasperated shrug.

"We get that you don't like to talk about your private life and we respect that, but sometimes it's good to," Cynthia Rose did her best to help Beca and encourage her to talk. "We won't repeat anything you tell us."

"Unless it's really good and worth sharing," Fat Amy added with a deadpan expression.

"We won't tell anyone," Cynthia Rose repeated.

"Maybe." Although despite how unreassuring Fat Amy was acting, she wouldn't have told anyone else whatever Beca chose to say or not to say. The blonde knew what boundaries not to cross though she may not always make a convincing show of it.

Beca groaned. She didn't particularly want to explain everything to the other Bellas, but she knew she'd feel worse about not telling as she didn't want them to completely feel like she didn't trust them at least a little. Beca walked over to them and pulled out an empty seat, separating it from the group so she could face them as she spoke.

"I already told you about how Chloe didn't want to be together anymore because of the distance, and how we're unable to see each other much anymore because I'm here at Barden and she has her job. But when I went to see her last week- Well, actually I didn't mean to see her. I went to her apartment to drop off the keys to it, but she came back from teaching her dance class earlier than I expected so we ran into each other just as I was about to leave. Anyway," Beca paused to sigh, "We got into an argument and she told me that even though she ended the relationship she still missed me and..." The Bella's voice trailed off as she averted her gaze so as not to make any eye contact with the others. "And she said she loved me," the brunette murmured before quickly adding, "I told her it wasn't fair for her to say that - not when she didn't plan to change her mind about breaking up. And I also admitted that I loved her too, but now it's too late because her decision's irreversible."

"But you both love each other," Stacie shot the shorter brunette a quizzical look.

"It doesn't matter though!" Beca shouted, snapping her focus onto the junior. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you. I just... I'm pissed at how everything had to go, but I'm not actually mad at any of you guys."

"We know," Cynthia Rose promised, "We understand now, Beca, and that helps with us knowing why you've been so tense lately and kind of harsh with us."

"I know, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to affect me as much as it does," Beca gave everyone a meek smile.

"I think you should give it some time and then try to talk to her again," Stacie shrugged, leaning back in her seat as she crossed one leg over the other.

"There's really nothing to say now. It's over; there's no us anymore or ever. Our relationship is in the past," Beca arched an eyebrow, doing everything she could to keep her composure as she felt the back of her eyes burn with the threat of tears.

"Then you should at least try to make amends with her. Even if you don't stay as friends, finding some sort of mutual agreement, I feel, would help," Ashley sighed. "Otherwise you'll both live the rest of your lives always wondering why things ended so bitterly and what you could've done differently."

Beca knew Ashley was right; no matter how much happiness she'd find in life, she'd always wonder if things could've been done differently so that there wasn't such bitterness - such resentment - between Chloe and herself. However she also firmly believed she'd lost her chance to speak with the blonde and this was just how things were going to be, so she better suck it up adjust to it sooner rather than later.

"I really appreciate you guys trying to help me, but I think it is how it is now. Anyway, I have to go finish some things up before I can go to bed for the night," Beca's lips pressed together tightly, forming a thin smile as she stood and left the room.

"I wish there was more we could do," Jessica sighed once the door had shut behind the brunette.

"Me too, but this is something between her and Chloe that they need to figure out themselves," Cynthia Rose shrugged with a forlorn expression. "Anyway, we should all go too. No use sitting around talking about something out of our control," to which the other Bellas agreed and filed out of the room.

Beca had perched herself in her chair as she stared intently at the remix she was working on. Throwing herself into her music was how she coped with just about everything as she let the bass and the harmonies of the tracks drown out her thoughts. But this time, no matter how high she turned up the volume she couldn't force her mind away from Chloe; how much she desperately wanted the end result of their last conversation to change, how she wished that even in admitting that she loved her, it'd have swayed the blonde's decision and willingness to try to make things work between them again. But Beca didn't want to set herself up for another heartbreak, not sure if she could handle it, and so she made decided to stick with her original statement that it was too late for things to change.

Chloe wasn't having an easy time coping with the break up either. She was tense as well during teaching her classes and even at home. She let out a whimper as tears streaked her face for what must've been the third night in a row as she patted down the area of her bed around her for her phone.

"How are you feeling?" Came Aubrey's voice through the speaker, concerned for her best friend.

"I hate this, Aubrey. I'm tired of always being so upset and crying," Chloe sniffed. "I bet Beca's doing a lot better than me," she added with a grumble.

"Do you want me to come over?" The law student offered. Since graduating from Barden as an undergrad, Aubrey applied, and was accepted, into their law school as she had intentions to become a lawyer, focusing particularly on the laws and contracts made in the entertainment business.

"Please," Chloe's voice came out in a squeak.

Aubrey let herself into the apartment with the spare set of keys that Chloe had given her in case she ever forgot hers - a sort of back up system, and because as Beca had been allowed to do when they were together, Aubrey had a long standing invitation to let herself come and go in her best friend's apartment when she wanted.

"Hey," the grad student murmured, taking a seat on the edge of her friend's bed.

"I wish I could stop caring," Chloe grumbled as she moved over to wrap her arms around Aubrey's waist.

"Maybe you should talk to her. You told her you loved her, Chloe, and that's a pretty big deal. And as you told me, she said she returned the feelings, so perhaps you could try to make things work," Aubrey stroked the younger woman's hair gently.

"Beca told me it was too late because I'd made my decision and she didn't want to go back. I can't blame her though; I know I hurt her - like really, deeply hurt her - and I _am_ sorry, but like I've told you both, I can't deal with not being able to see her and hold her and all that stupid stuff that couples do."

"Why exactly not, though, Chloe? It's not like this is permanent. You have breaks and summers. And eventually Beca will graduate-" The law student began.

"And move to L.A. to be a DJ while I'm here with my own job," Chloe burst into tears.

"So _that's_ the real reason," Aubrey's voice was soft and empathetic. "You're afraid that she'll leave you behind when she graduates."

"If she doesn't transfer from Barden before that, yeah," the younger blonde buried her face into her friend's side.

"Why didn't you tell her that?"

"I was scared. I know she probably would've promised that she wouldn't forget about me and maybe try and figure out a way to make a relationship work as then it really would be long distance since we wouldn't even be in the same state anymore, but... I'm afraid she'd meet someone else there, so she'd break up with me. That's why I did it first."

Aubrey remained silent for a few minutes to let what her friend had told her sink in. "I think you need to tell her this," she finally spoke up. "I think Beca has a right to know the real reason you ended things because right now, she's confused and broken hearted and doesn't understand why you couldn't work through things when they'd seemed to be going so well before. I'm not saying you're not hurting either, because I can clearly see that and I empathize for you, I really do Chloe, but I think you owe it to Beca to tell her the truth." Aubrey's voice was tender but firm, telling her friend what she believed she needed to hear.

Chloe rolled over onto her back and stared up at the ceiling, examining the smooth texture of the surface as if the answer to all her problems would appear there.

"I know you're right, but I don't think she wants to talk to me anymore," Chloe groaned.

"Then maybe I can convince her to," Aubrey promised, "I can be pretty stern with her about it. You know how I was with her when she was first new to The Bellas," her sentence eliciting an exhausted laugh from Chloe.

"Yeah, you both butted heads a lot," the younger woman smirked.

"So I can convince her to talk to you, though it should be soon."

"Alright, fine, I'll talk to her again. Saturdays seem to be the best days for me to have ample time for what's bound to be a lengthy conversation, so could you ask her for then at three in the afternoon?"

"Of course," Aubrey smiled warmly down at her friend.

"Thanks, Aubrey, for telling me what I needed to hear and all that," Chloe returned the grateful smile, giving her best friend a tight hug.


	6. Misunderstood Farewell

After spending the night at Chloe's apartment, Aubrey rose early the next morning. She rolled out of the bed and trotted towards the kitchen where she turned on the stove to make a breakfast of pancakes - something her friend always enjoyed though rarely had. The scent wafted through the kitchen until it eventually drifted through the open doorway to Chloe's bedroom where it gradually roused her from sleep. Bleary eyed, the blonde threw back the down comforter that she'd cocooned herself in while asleep. A faint smile crept across her lips as she was instantly able to pick out the distinct odor of one of her favourite breakfast foods.

"Smells really good," her voice still groggy and hoarse from sleep greeted the taller woman who's back was turned to her.

"I thought today would be a good day for pancakes," Aubrey smiled compassionately at her friend.

"It is," the younger blonde nodding her head slowly as she gave the law student a hug. "Thank you Aubrey. For this, for last night... Thanks."

"Of course, Chloe, that's what best friends are for," she laughed softly, returning the embrace. "Now, how many do you want?"

"Two, please," the younger woman grinned, pulling away to lean against the counter where Aubrey piled two pancakes onto a plate and handed it to her friend.

"So will you still talk to her if I call?" The taller blonde wasted no time in getting straight to the point.

"Yeah, I'll try. I mean, I can't make her listen or believe me, but I'll tell her the truth," Chloe promised.

"Good, that's all I need to hear," the law student nodded, pulling out her phone.

"Wait, you're going to call her _now_?" The younger blonde practically squeaked.

"Yes, why not? Better do it now before she makes plans for then."

Chloe let out a hesitant whimper.

"You're not going to want me to call her any more than you do now if we wait," Aubrey pointed out.

"I know," Chloe sighed. Aubrey was often right.

"Beca? It's Aubrey," the blonde spoke in crisp, terse manner, one she often took with the brunette last year when she was still only a member of The Bellas and giving her a hard time, questioning the blonde's decisions.

"What do you want, Aubrey?" Beca groaned, irked that she'd be woken from sleep when she still had another hour before needing to get up. The annoyance in her voice only doubled as she knew that the only reason Aubrey would be calling her when they barely even spoke - especially since breaking up with Chloe - would be on her friend's behalf.

"What are you doing this Saturday at three pm?"

"Uh..-" The brunette's eyes flicked upwards as she ran through her plans for the week before being cut off.

"Good, you need to talk to Chloe. Meet her at the coffee shop down the street from Barden. I expect you to be there, Beca."

"I never even told you if I was free then," the brunette hissed into the phone.

"I could tell you had nothing planned until now. But that's beside the point. Did you get what I said?" Aubrey's tone was sharp and relentless, not giving Beca time to retaliate.

"Yeah, yeah, loud and clear," the sophomore rolled her eyes.

"I'm not kidding, Beca. If you don't show up, I will come to your dorm and personally drag you over to see Chloe. You two need to talk - you need to know the truth."

"Do you hear me laughing? And fine, I'll be there. The truth about what? What did she lie about?" The skepticism in Beca's voice was undeniable. So Chloe had lied to her as well. Of course, because simply hurting her by ending the relationship wasn't enough, Beca scowled.

"It wasn't exactly a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth. That's all I'm going to say because you need to hear it from her, not me," Aubrey replied. "Saturday, three o'clock pm. Don't forget," the former Bella reminded Beca before hanging up.

"And don't you forget either," she arched an eyebrow, turning to meet Chloe's distress filled, oceanic blue eyes, with her own dauntless hazel ones.

"I won't," the corners of Chloe's lips twisted into a weary smile.

"You'll be fine," Aubrey placed both her hands on her friend's shoulders, holding her gaze steadily. "And no matter what, at least Beca can't say you weren't honest with her."

"You're right, Aubrey, like always," a dry laugh tumbled from Chloe's lips.

"It'll work out. Now, I have to get to class, but I'll have my phone on me if you need, okay?"

Chloe nodded, giving her friend another hug before letting Aubrey go. Speaking of getting ready, she still had a class to teach later that afternoon and should get ready.

Meanwhile, Beca's defeated groan filled the few minutes of silence that had befallen her dorm room since Aubrey hung up. A feeling of trepidation washed over her as she realized Saturday was the following day. She knew their talk would only escalate and finish in yet another yelling match, and the sophomore wasn't sure she was ready to deal with another, although Aubrey hadn't left her much of an option in the matter.

She debated going back to sleep, but when she checked the time, she only had about forty-five minutes before needing to wake again and decided against it. Clumsily changing, the brunette played out all the possible scenarios of how the conversation with Chloe could go horribly wrong. That's just how Beca was: a pessimist who would first concern herself with what could turn out badly, making sure she was prepared for it before allowing herself to dare hope for the best. However, this wasn't a case where she could hope that anything good would come from speaking with the blonde - it hadn't in the past, so why would it now?

The day for both women passed in a dream-like haze, neither exactly remembering what happened as their minds had been far from what they were doing. And both went to bed that night feeling apprehensive about the day to come.

Beca had, for once, arrived at the designated meeting place on time, wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible. In fact, she'd been so eager for their meeting to end, that she'd arrived at the coffee shop a solid five minutes early. Not wanting a drink, the Bella opted to wait outside as she leaned against the brick wall of the building, her arms wrapped around her to fend off the frigid breeze.

Chloe had gotten into her car fifteen minutes to three and put the key into the ignition, turning it and turned up the heat as the car hummed to life.

"Okay, Chloe, you can do this. Just tell Beca the real reason you broke up with her and leave. That's all you need to do," she did her best to assure herself things would, in fact, work out as Aubrey had said they would. "Just get this over with as quick as you can."

She pulled away from the curb and drove silently towards where Aubrey had set her meeting place with Beca. Glancing at the dashboard clock, she still had ten minutes to spare, so she shouldn't be late.

The light turned bright green, signaling for her to go, but as Chloe stepped onto the gas and had pulled into the intersection, the sound of a fast approaching blaring horn caused her to turn her head to glance out the window.

The sound of shattering glass as the air bag popped out from the steering wheel and the screeching of tired was the last thing Chloe remembered before everything went black.

Beca rolled her eyes, dragging her cold hand through her hair as she pulled out her phone and woke it from its sleep to check the time: 3:10p. Chloe was late.

"She probably stood me up," the sophomore growled, not putting it passed the blonde to get cold feet and back out. Just like she did when she decided to call off the relationship over the phone instead of in person.

"Fuck you, Chloe," Beca muttered angrily, pushing off the wall. She had no intention of spending her afternoon out in the cold if the older woman wasn't going to show. If either Chloe or Aubrey ever tried to get her to speak with Chloe again, Beca made the firm decision she would refuse regardless of how much Aubrey yelled and threatened her. Beca was done with allowing herself to be set up just to get shot down and hurt time after time.

She threw her jacket onto her bed and sat down in her chair and slipped on her headphones, ready to mute the rest of the world around her with the vehement beats of her music and forget about Chloe for the final time.


	7. To Love is to Let Go

Beca glared at her phone when she saw Aubrey's name appear on the screen and tapped the "Ignore" button. However the blonde, once she'd set her mind to something, was incredibly persistent and continued to call the sophomore.

"What do you want?!" Beca hissed at her.

"I've been trying to get ahold of you," the law student replied tersely.

"Yes, I know - I've been ignoring all your calls. I'm giving you thirty seconds to tell me why you called before I'm hanging up and blocking your number," the brunette threatened.

"How rude," Aubrey huffed. "It's important."

"Then you better say it quick because you only have 20 seconds left."

"Chloe didn't meet you because she was in a car accident. Still going to hang up on me?"

Beca remained silent while she let the information sink into her head.

"Are you still there?" Aubrey's voice pierced the quiet.

"Yeah, I'm here. Is… Is she okay?" The brunette murmured.

"She's in the hospital, but she'll be okay. You should visit when you get the chance," the former Bella mentioned cooly.

"Aubrey, I'm sorry she was in an accident, really I am, and I'm relieved to hear she'll be alright, but I can't see her," Beca sighed.

"Why not?" The blonde pressed, frustrated by how difficult the sophomore was being.

"Because every time we do-"

"You argue, I know, you told me that before," Aubrey interjected, "But you need to know the real reason as to why she ended things, Beca. You need-"

"'Need?' Aubrey, I don't _need_ to do anything. I'm not going and that's that," Beca began to remove the phone from her ear when she heard the blonde's voice on the other end admonish her.

"Don't you dare hang up on me, Beca Mitchell. Chloe drove out there to see you and explain it herself and then she was hit by another driver. She risked her life to tell you the truth and almost died. I think the least you can do in this situation is let her say what she needs. You can leave right after that," Aubrey promised.

Beca knew the older woman had a point although she wasn't about to admit to that. Yet her prideful, stubborn nature refused to allow the brunette to take the easy route and simply agree to Aubrey's suggestion.

"I can't, Aubrey. I'm sorry. Please stop calling me," she muttered, hanging up the phone.

Beca let out an exasperated groan; to be honest, she wanted to see Chloe - needed to see her, to make sure she was okay, even if Aubrey had said it herself that Chloe would recover, the Bella wanted to see for herself. Yet she'd just told Aubrey she wasn't going to drop by, and in turn the former Bellas leader would tell Chloe that she wouldn't be showing up. Ever. She would tell Chloe that Beca Mitchell had walked out of her life for good. And Beca knew this would crush her ex-girlfriend, and she hated herself for doing it, but her mind refused her to give in to her god damned pride and do the right - or at least considerate - thing and just hear Chloe out, even if she planned to turn and walk out of the hospital room when she'd finished. But what would it matter what the reason for the break up was? It wouldn't, that's what. They'd still be split up anyway.

It was an internal war for Beca between wanting to see Chloe and discover what this truth that Aubrey kept talking about was and not wanting to see Chloe because it'd only hurt her more - being able to see the woman she loved, but not being able to be with her.

"Damn it, Chloe!" Beca yelled into the emptiness of her room. "Why did you have to tell me you loved me?" She whined, burring her face into her hands as hot tears began to fall. "It's not fair."

She slipped off the headphones, giving up on working on the mix she had opened on her computer and decided to call it a night.

Chloe lay in her hospital bed, staring blankly out the window when there was a knock on the door.

"Oh, hey," the blonde smiled meekly at her visitor.

"How're you holding up, Chloe?" Aubrey smiled at her sympathetically.

"I'm okay I guess. Did you hear from Beca?"

Her friend's smile fell from her face as her expression turned solemn as she walked to her friend's side. "I tried, Chloe. I called her seven times before she even picked up. I know she wants to see you - I can hear it in her voice -"

"But?" Chloe interjected. She could feel her heart sinking at the news. She'd wanted so much for Beca to show up, even if only for five minutes only to walk away and out of her life.

"But," Aubrey inhaled deeply, "She says she can't because she's tired of arguing with you all the time," the blonde sighed.

"But she wouldn't have to say anything if she came! I'd just tell her my real reason and then she could leave again! For good, if she really wanted!" Chloe cried out. She was unable to stop the stream of tears falling down her face.

"I know Chloe, and I told her that," the taller blonde took hold of Chloe's hands between hers. "I said everything I could, but Beca's stubborn and prideful like me - she refused to give in. But I _know_ she wants to see you so much, and that's what's so infuriating!" Aubrey groaned.

"It's okay, you tried, and that's all I can ask of you," Chloe muttered with a sad smile. "Thank you," she gave Aubrey's hands a pat. "I'll eventually accept that while Beca may care, she doesn't care enough, or want, to see me. I crushed her when I broke up with her - I can't expect her to want to see me again," the blonde shrugged, "It was a selfish desire."

"Well… There may be one more thing I can think of doing," Aubrey's words came out slowly, the gears in her head slowly picking up speed as she formulated an idea

"Aubrey, I appreciate all the help you've given me, but you don't have to keep putting in the effort when it's clear Beca's answer will be no."

"Maybe it will be, but I still want to try."

"Alright, but don't go too far out of your way okay? I'm not keeping my hopes up that Beca will stop by or try to get in touch with me."


	8. Secrets

The insistent pounding on her door rudely pulled Beca from the comforts of sleep. She groaned, cursing under her breath. "This better be good," she growled opening the door, her appearance was unkempt as she'd just risen from her bed. Her aggravated scowl turned into a wrathful glare as Beca's grip on the door knob tightened upon seeing the tall blonde.

"What the hell do you want Aubrey? It's 6 in the morning."

"Why are you so adamant about not seeing Chloe?"

"Fuck, Aubrey, I already told you I'm not seeing her!" Whenever Beca began dropping the F-bomb, there was no question that she was pissed.

"You never explained why," the blonde crossed her arms, doing her best to keep her cool despite wanting to slap the sophomore across the face - maybe be able to knock some sense into the smaller woman's head while she was at it.

"I don't have to explain anything you to, Aubrey. I'm going back to sleep," the brunette began to shut the door, but the older woman put her foot down in the doorframe before the sophomore was able to shut it.

"We're not done talking, Beca," the blonde's tone was steady yet threatening - the eerie calm before she was set to blow…Hopefully not chunks.

"I don't get it; I don't understand why - and don't even try to deny it - you care so deeply for Chloe, but right now, when she needs you the most, you refuse to be there for her."

Beca gave way to a pensive sigh, running a hand through her hair.

"It's because I care so much that I refuse to go. If I go see her I'll only be reminded…" her voice trailed off.

"Reminded of?" Aubrey's no-nonsense tone ringing in the brunette's ears.

"Reminded of how much I love her, but she ended things, Aubrey, despite me telling her I also loved her in return. So why would I go back? I'm only setting myself up to get hurt again," Beca grumbled.

"You're setting yourself up for even more hurt if you don't go," the former Bella huffed, folding her arms.

"Why do you care so much?" Beca sighed.

"Because Chloe's my best friend, Beca, therefore I care about her very much and I hate seeing her hurting so much over this."

Beca remained silent for a few minutes, finally exhaling heavily. "Fine, I'll consider it."

"Just consider?" Aubrey arched an eyebrow at the smaller woman.

"I'll go! Happy?" She gave way to an exasperated sigh.

"Much better. Today in an hour," the blonde commanded before turning on her heel to leave.

When Aubrey left, the sophomore raked a hand through her hair. She didn't expect Chloe to suddenly want her and it was foolish to even allow herself to cling to any sliver of hope that it would. Yet she did anyway. Hope for the realistic best and prepare for the fantastical worse - that was what Beca did. She spent the better half of the hour the blonde had given her mentally preparing to only be disappointed while another part of her that, despite her attempts to control it, imagined how things could be if Chloe decided to give them another chance.

Upon arriving at Chloe's hospital room, the woman was too preoccupied staring out the window blankly to notice Beca's arrival. The blonde look melancholic, clearly her mind was a million miles away.

"Hey," the brunette murmured softly, giving the door a few light knocks.

"Beca..!" The older woman noted surprised, a meek smile appearing on her lips. "You came. Did Aubrey make you come see me?" She questioned, her eyes downcast onto the bed.

She wanted Beca to say no, that she came of her own free will, but she knew that was probably too much to ask for. And where else would Aubrey had gone besides to the sophomore's room to demand that she visit Chloe?

"Yeah," she muttered with a coy smile, stepping into the room. "I did. And… Admittedly, yes, Aubrey was the one who talked me into coming. But it's not like I didn't want to! I just… I was afraid that if I came, I was only setting myself up to get hurt," she hastily explained.

"It's fine, Beca, really. I'm just happy to see you here," she smiled half-heartedly.

"Is… There something bothering you?" Beca inquired, noticing the other woman's down mood. "Should I go?"

"No, no, it's not you - I'm fine," she flashed Beca an assured smile, "Food here sucks and being cooped up in here day in and day out is finally getting to me I think." Lies. Seeing Beca was both uplifting and something she also dreaded, but she wasn't sure she was ready to reveal that to the brunette right now, instead just focusing on the fact that she was here.

"When do you get out?"

"In a few more days, I think."

"That's good," Beca mumbled. There was definitely something going on with Chloe, but the other woman was holding back. She hated to push, but it was clearly something that only hit her - or at least something that she only showed signs of it effecting her - when she'd showed up. "What's bothering you?" She sighed.

Silence. Chloe turned back to face out the window again. "Come here," she patted the edge of her bed, tears welling in her eyes.

Beca eyed her skeptically, but did as she was requested.

"Beca I…" The blonde couldn't hold back the tears anymore and let them flow freely down her face though she still tried to wipe them away only for more to fall.

"What is it?" The sophomore urged gently, placing a hand over the other woman's instinctively.

"I can't," Chloe choked out, withdrawing her hand from Beca's. She watched as hurt flashed across the smaller woman's face, but she'd made her move.

"You can't what?" Beca expected this - knew it was going to happen; she came only to get shot down once again despite not having even asked for a second chance yet.

"I lo-"

"No! You can't keep telling me you love me, Chloe, if you're not going to give us a chance!" Beca shot up from where she'd been seated on the bed. "You can't string me along like this! Don't tell me you love me if you have no intention of doing anything about it!"

"Then I won't," Chloe mumbled. "I'm sorry, Beca, I really am."

"Will you at least tell me why you won't let me in?" It felt strange to be the one practically begging for someone else to not push her away when it had always been the other way around.

"I…" Chloe closed her eyes momentarily as she breathed in deeply before exhaling a weighted sigh, looking at the brunette who looked devastated, not that she could blame the younger woman. "I'm afraid that one day you'll wake up and stop loving me. Or when you go to L.A., even if I went with you, you'll find someone else who's better than me. I'm afraid you'll one day leave me," she explained, her voice dropping to a volume that was barely more than whisper.

"Jesus, Chloe," Beca groaned, thoroughly frustrated. "Why didn't you tell me this from the beginning? You could've saved a lot of pain and time." She didn't mean to become so accusatory, but the fact that Chloe had taken so long just to say that bothered the sophomore. It was as if the other woman didn't trust her enough.

"I'm sorry, I was scared and I know that's no excuse, but… Now you know."

"Are you going to let your fear get the better of you or are you going to let me prove otherwise to you?" Beca crossed her arms. She couldn't keep playing this game of push me pull you - she needed a definite answer and she needed it now.

"It's not just my fear anymore, Beca. You're still growing and I feel like I'm just staying the same. I don't… I don't think I can always be what you need, Beca."

"And…?"

"We might work now, we may work for years, but eventually I won't be able to be enough for you, no matter how much I lo- care about you," she sighed.

"So you're letting me go," Beca sighed.

"…I am," Chloe covered her face with her hands, breaking down into sobs.

Beca stood there a minute longer, approaching the other woman's side, gently pulling Chloe's hands away from her face, her sorrowful blue eyes meeting Chloe's. She hesitated for a few seconds, before placing a soft kiss on the blonde's lips, lingering then pulling away. "Good bye, Chloe," Beca wiped a few tears that had managed to fall when she blinked. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to make you believe that we could work."

That was that then, there was no more Beca and Chloe - just Beca and just Chloe. She finally got her answer, though of course it wasn't one she liked. At least she had closure though, right?

"Beca?"

She looked up to see Aubrey approaching her. "What do you want now?" Her voice heavy with the anguish of rejection.

"What happened?" The older woman knew that the sophomore hardly ever cried - especially in a public place - and the fact that she was doing so now indicated something serious must've happened between her and Chloe that had ended in heartbreak.

"She told me it was over for good," the brunette shrugged, trying to play it off as if it didn't effect her nearly as much as it had in reality despite her appearance of reddened eyes and hunched shoulders suggested otherwise.

"I… I'm so sorry, Beca," Aubrey murmured.

"Did you know she was going to say no?"

"No, I didn't. If I did I wouldn't have been so forceful about you going back. I genuinely thought that she'd give you two another shot."

"Then I guess we were both wrong. I have to go," Beca grumbled bitterly, sidestepping the other woman.

"Wait, can we at least talk?"

"About what? There's nothing to talk about."

"You might not have anything to say, but I do," Aubrey chewed her bottom lip nervously.

"Like what? If you're only going to ridicule me, can it at least please wait until later?"

"I'm not going to berate you for anything, Beca. I just want to talk, but not now - not while you're still stinging so much."

"I'll be like this for a long time, so it's up to you when we talk."

"Later this week then. In the mean time, I'll speak with Chloe and see if-"

"Don't bother. I'm done - I can't keep getting my hopes up only to have her keep shooting me down. I'm tired of it and I'm tired of always getting hurt. I asked if that was her final answer and she said yes. I just want to leave it at that. Text me later for whenever you want to meet up for this talk," Beca rolled her lips into a thin line and walked off.

"You ended things with Beca?" Aubrey asked incredulously when she entered Chloe's room, finding her best friend crying.

"We weren't together anyway."

"But Beca came here hoping-"

"Well she shouldn't have!" Chloe shouted, her defenses shooting up. "It wasn't easy for me, Aubrey, to say no to her like that! I knew she came here with the hope that I'd give us another chance and even though I wanted to say yes, I just… I couldn't!"

"But… Why, Chloe? You love her!" Aubrey exclaimed.

"She deserves someone better."

"Are you kidding me right now?!" The taller blonde snapped. "Beca loves you! You know that!"

"That could change!"

"You sound like Beca! These are things she should be saying, not you!" Aubrey retorted.

"Why do you care so much?!"

"Because she's my friend too!"

"Then why don't _you _date her?!"

Aubrey was rendered speechless - her friend's words hitting her like a sharp slap to the face. "Because she loves you!" She clapped a hand over her mouth; she didn't mean to phrase it like that, it just happened.

"You like her?!" Chloe hissed, catching on immediately, Aubrey's reaction to her own words only making her underlying message more blatant.

"That's not what I said!" Aubrey could feel the heat in her cheeks rise, a deep blush spreading across her face. She could deny it all she wanted, but the truth was out there now.

"How long?" Chloe's voice dropped to a feeble squeak.

"I… I don't know, Chloe. I'd been so focused on other things; work, making sure you were okay whenever you were feeling upset, things like that, that I refused to acknowledge what I'd been feeling, but I've liked her for a while, now. I knew you had feelings for Beca for a long time and I… I couldn't interfere with that. Not to mention she reciprocated your feelings, so why should I have bothered to tell her when I knew I was going to get turned down?" Aubrey collapsed into one of the chairs, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Well now's your chance to get her," Chloe folded her arms against her chest, wiping away the last of her tears.

"She's not some trophy, Chloe. It doesn't work like that-"

"Christ, Aubrey, you talk about her as if you love her!"

Once again the taller woman found herself unable to say anything and sat there quietly instead.

"Oh my god, Aubrey! You _do_ love her!" Chloe felt a new wave of anger wash over her. She knew it wasn't her friend's fault for feeling what she felt, but she couldn't help the intense resentment she harbored so suddenly for the other woman. Aubrey had done nothing wrong - she never once told Beca how she'd felt nor dropped any hints, instead buried her feelings deep down inside of her out of consideration for her friend, but Chloe still couldn't help it; she was angry, confused, hurt. "I-I need some time alone," she remarked, her voice cracking as she felt herself on the verge of tears again.

"I'm sorry, Chloe," Aubrey sighed, getting up to leave, though she didn't know why she was apologizing as she hand't been the reason that her friend and Beca hadn't worked out.

"I don't want you to talk to me," Chloe stated coldly.

"Fine, I won't, but if you ever change your mind, I'll have my phone on me," she reminded the other blonde. Chloe made no reply other than a begrudging shrug, so Aubrey took it as her cue to leave.

This was going to be an excruciatingly painful week for all of them.


	9. Confessions

All three women were struggling that week, trying to cope with how things had unfolded; Beca had her heart broken yet again by Chloe and was fed up with it and so made Chloe give her final answer about their could-have-been-again relationship, Chloe turned Beca down for good though Beca had tried to reach out and reassure her things could work, and Aubrey's feelings for Beca that she'd harbored for who knows how long finally coming to surface, to Chloe that is. Aubrey remained stressed out as she feared she'd just lost her best friend and about to lose Beca as well, confident the sophomore would reject her, not reciprocating her feelings in the least. Beca had cooped herself up in her room, drowning herself in the vehement beats of her music as she worked on mixes half the time and stared up at the ceiling blankly the other half of her time, as if the answers of what to do next and how to move on would magically appear there. Chloe had been discharged from the hospital halfway through the week, Amy having come to get her and help keep her mind, which she'd mostly been able to achieve with her witty though dry humor that people seemed to either like and understand or be left feeling utterly confused as it went right over their heads.

By Wednesday Aubrey had finally gathered up her courage to text Beca. She'd have called, but the blonde didn't trust herself to not blurt everything out to the sophomore right then and there over the phone if she heard the younger Bella's voice.

_"Coffee shop down the street from you tomorrow at 5pm,"_ short and straight to the point, as Beca would've expected the other woman's texts to be.

_"See you then,"_ the brunette texted back in return, not having anything else to say as she knew any questions she had would (she hoped) be answered when they met up.

Aubrey was, of course, at least a solid five minutes early than the appointed time she'd arranged with Beca. She'd gone ahead and bought herself a coffee so as to have something else to somewhat focus on instead of her nerves as she waited apprehensively for the other woman. She didn't exactly feel like she was going to blow chunks - though wasn't too far from it - but she was certainly anxious to know for sure how things would go. She'd already predicted that Beca would turn her down as she was still stinging over their last meeting, and she'd never once indicated that she also liked the sophomore. She knew that Chloe had loved the other woman long before she did, or at least long before she even realized she also loved the brunette, but Beca had a clear interest in Chloe and so she didn't want to complicate things more.

Beca had arrived on time, for once putting effort into being somewhere at the designated time. The brunette had placed her order for a drink and waited until it was in her hand and claimed the seat opposite of Aubrey. The pair greeted each other cooly, keeping the conversation on the casual side for a while despite the giant elephant in the room: the real reason Aubrey had asked to see her.

"So…" Beca finally rolled her lips into a thin line, "While it has been nice to be able to just have a light-hearted conversation with you, I do want to know why you asked to meet up with me," she arched an eyebrow at the blonde.

The sophomore anticipated being berated by the older woman for having let Chloe go as well and not fighting harder to try and salvage their relationship. Or for perhaps not having been good enough to prevent their falling out from happening in the first place. Whatever it was, however, Beca didn't think it'd be a good thing as hardly anything ever was when someone told her they needed to talk. It always meant something bad was going to happen.

Just as Aubrey opened her mouth to speak, the door to the coffee shop swung open with Chloe standing in the doorway. She ducked her head in hopes her possibly former friend wouldn't spot her, but she was too slow as Chloe strode over to their table.

"Are you fucking serious, Aubrey?" She hissed.

"It's not what it looks like," Aubrey muttered.

"Oh really, Aubrey? I thought you were the one that said Beca wasn't a trophy," Chloe retorted, crossing her arms.

"What the hell is going on?" Beca looked between the two women, surprised to see them arguing like this. Chloe and Aubrey hadn't gotten into an argument like this since she'd left The Bellas the previous year, or so Chloe had told her.

"It's nothing. Please, Chloe, can we talk about this later?" Aubrey desperately wanted her friend (if they were even still that anymore) to walk away and not be any more humiliated than she was.

"Nothing? You two are on a fucking date, Aubrey, and you're telling me it's nothing?" Chloe spat the words out, a blend of rage and anguish flashing in her eyes.

"What?!" Beca shifted her gaze back to Aubrey bewildered. "You said we were just meeting up because you had to talk - you didn't tell me this was a date!"

Aubrey squeezed her eyes shut; she felt the itch in the back of her throat, her stomach churned violently, threatening to come up. She tried to convince herself it was okay, that she could talk her way out of this, but it wasn't quite that simple when the two people who were watching her, waiting for her response was the woman who once was her best friend and the woman whom she'd harbored feelings towards for much longer than she'd allowed herself to acknowledge - whom she still loved.

Rising to her feet, she pushed her way past Chloe and rushed to the bathroom in the back, locking herself inside as she heaved both her breakfast and lunch into the toilet. She felt mortified and completely vulnerable. Chloe had mistaken their meeting as a date, which in turn caused Beca to surely hated her now as she thought she'd been deceived into going on one.

"What the fuck is going on here?!" Beca groaned in exasperation.

"Aubrey really didn't tell you?" Chloe snorted, still believing that the sophomore was feigning ignorance for her sake or some other stupid reason.

"Tell me what, Chloe?" The brunette pushed, frustrated to no end with how out of the loop she felt.

"Oh…" The blonde muttered, realizing that the sophomore truly didn't know anything. "Aubrey loves you," she mumbled, feeling guilty for having accused the two right off the bat for being on a date.

"She what? No way, Aubrey does not love me - she's never given me any sign that she did. Besides, she was really supported of us when we were together," Beca shook her head, still having a difficult time wrapping her mind around this new information.

"I think it's better if she tells you, but she hid her feelings on my behalf," she paused for a moment, the two standing there awkwardly in the silence. "I should go," Chloe murmured, hastily walking out.

"Oh my god," Beca gave way to a weighted sigh, raking a hand through her hair. She could leave Aubrey in the bathroom and either get in touch with her later to sort this whole mess out with her some other time or get it over with now. She hated confrontation though and she knew this was going to be especially hard for them both as it involved feelings - something Beca avoided talking about whenever she could for as long as she could. Feelings were complex and the sophomore despised their intricacy. But if she didn't go get Aubrey now, who knew when her next chance would be as the other woman may claim to be busy at every time she'd suggest to try talking again. Feelings were a bitch.


	10. Separate Ways

After giving the bathroom door a few solid knocks, Beca leaned against the doorframe, giving way to another heavy sigh. "Aubrey, it's me. You don't have to open the door, but please just hear me out. I don't hate you or anything like that for loving me, if what Chloe said was true. I just… Can we please just talk?" Beca groaned exasperatedly.

She could hear the sound of the sink water running - probably Aubrey rinsing out her mouth - and then a few minutes of silence. Pushing herself off the wall, the sophomore was about to leave when the bathroom door opened to reveal the disheveled blonde.

"What do you want me to say, Beca?" Aubrey questioned wearily. "Whatever Chloe told you, I'm sure was right."

"But I want to hear it from _you_," Beca crossed her arms.

"Fine, but can we go somewhere else?" The blonde sighed.

Without a word the sophomore turned on her heal and began to walk out of the café with the older woman trailing behind her. The brunette wasn't sure what to think of the situation; what began as a seemingly innocent meeting turned into a date - or perhaps it was a date all along, but she'd been purposely misinformed. On one hand, she wouldn't put it past Aubrey to ask her out to coffee with the pretense it was just to talk, but on the other hand she knew the blonde was more upfront about what she wanted. If she'd wanted to take Beca out on a date, she'd have just said so, right?

"So what's going on?" Beca demanded, pulling Aubrey into an alleyway so that they could have some more privacy.

"It's true, Beca, I do have feelings for you," the blonde sighed, speaking in a hushed tone. "I have for a long time, but I kept silent because Chloe had an interest in you as well and you reciprocated her feelings."

"All we did was argue last year," the sophomore arched her eyebrow, folding her arms against her chest.

"I know; I argued with you over the setlist time and time again because I did believe at first that if we stuck to tradition, but executed it better we could win, the more you pushed me about needing to change things, I slowly began to realize you were right. However I didn't want to give you that satisfaction of being right, so I continued to bicker with you. It was also the only way I knew how to talk to you, Beca, because attempting to hold a civil conversation with you seemed useless as you always got defensive with me, though I know it was with good reason. But it was only when we argued that I felt you gave me any form of complete attention. What I'm trying to say is that somewhere between all our arguing, I fell for you, but I didn't feel as if I could say anything," Aubrey explained, keeping her gaze cast downwards at her feet, flicking up to look at the younger woman briefly to see if she could see any form of a reaction.

Beca's face, however, remained pensive, but showed no signs of anything else; no anger, irritation or even understanding. Finally after what felt like hours of deafening silence to Aubrey, but had really only been a few minutes, the brunette inhaled deeply and let out a sigh as if to mentally ready herself to speak.

"I never realized you felt that way about me," Beca mumbled, leaning against the cool bricks, "I… I don't really know what to say, to be honest because everything you said about Chloe and me is right," she shrugged, raking a hand through her hair as she often did in tense situations.

"How do you feel?" Aubrey asked meekly almost afraid of what the response would be - something negative for sure.

"To be honest, I'm not really sure how to feel," Beca gave a shrug, "That is, I'm not upset with you for feeling how you do, I'm just confused I guess. I know we still have our issues with each other, though that can really be applied to all relationships, but I… I don't know, Aubrey. I'm still getting over the fact at how Chloe has continuously shot me down as I'd have expected the roles to be reversed where I'm the one pulling out of the relationship and she'd be the one asking me not to since I'm the one that usually does the running away," Beca gave another weighted sigh, "And yet… And yet here I am now questioning my feelings for you." Straightening herself up, the brunette took a few steps closer to the older woman, planting herself right in front of the blonde. Reaching up, she cupped the side of Aubrey's face with her hand, guiding her downwards, but just as their lips were about to connect, Beca hesitated then took a few steps back. "I… I'm sorry," she mumbled. "It's not that I don't want to, but I don't want to give you false hopes - I don't want you to be my rebound," the sophomore muttered. "I think for now I need some space to clear my head and think about everything that's happened; the constant rejection, my feelings - whatever they may be - for you, everything. I hope you don't interpret this as me shutting you out because I'm not, or at least I don't mean to be, but I need some time apart from both you and Chloe so I can figure things out. I'm not asking you to wait for me either - if you find someone you'd rather be with, then go after that relationship as I know I'm probably the most difficult person to love - but this isn't me turning you down either, if that makes any sense," she rolled her lips into a thin smile, finally making eye contact with the other woman after having avoided her gaze as well.

"It does," Aubrey nodded slowly, "And I appreciate your honesty and taking my feelings into consideration by not letting me become your possible rebound from Chloe. I promise I won't wait for you, but I hope that when you're ready to talk to me again you will. I know this is unfair of me to say, but I don't know if I'll get another chance after this," she let out a languid sigh, closing her eyes momentarily in an unsuccessful attempt to calm her nerves. "I love you, Beca," she whispered, leaning down and placing a soft kiss upon the sophomore's lips. With that she flashed the brunette a small smile and walked off.

Beca let her back fall against the wall and stared up at the bleak sky mindlessly. She needed to figure out what she wanted. Chloe, of course, was out of the question as she'd made it clear that there was no chance of her and the brunette ever getting together again. And then there was Aubrey, who Beca was suddenly having inexplicable feelings about; did she return the older woman's feelings or was she only falling for her now because she was available and could be the stand in for Chloe? Shoving her hands into her pockets, Beca pushed herself off the wall and began to make the walk back to her dorm in hopes of trying to make sense of her perplexing thoughts of the situation she now found herself in and the mystery answer to what Aubrey meant to her: just a friend or more than that. Or would she make one final attempt to convince Chloe to take her back?

Aubrey offered stability despite being a graduate student; she knew what she wanted to do with her life as she was studying to become a lawyer. Chloe was uncertain as to what she was going to do for the rest of her life, currently working as waitress until she could solve that one. Aubrey planned ahead, well into the future while it appeared to the brunette that Chloe didn't as much - thinking more of a couple years in advance at most. But most of all, Aubrey thought with her head and used logic and reasoning over her emotions to make decisions whereas Chloe followed her heart more often than not. While that wasn't necessarily a bad thing, Beca found it somewhat unsettling as it meant that the other woman could have a change of heart by the next day so the sophomore couldn't be too sure of how concrete the blonde's decisions were or if they'd been based solely on her emotions at that given moment. The air of uncertainty around Chloe frightened Beca as she needed the very stability that Aubrey offered. Although this would seem to make the sophomore's decision obvious, as much as she loathed it, she'd have to take her feelings into account as well, and that was the more complex aspect of her dilemma as Beca and feelings hardly ever went hand in hand, and her emotions were one large jumbled mess.

Aubrey headed back to her apartment, hating how she'd left herself in a vulnerable position with Beca as either the younger woman would realize her feelings were mutual or she was only interested in the blonde because she happened to be free and willing to pursue a relationship with her. Of course she wanted the sophomore to come to the conclusion that she loved her for who she was and not because she was second best to Chloe, but the blonde didn't dare allow herself to get her hopes up. It was especially difficult for her to be in this position of unknowingness as she had no one to turn to that she could speak with about this; Chloe was furious with her despite having done nothing wrong as far as she could tell, and Beca had requested some distance from her, which she hoped wouldn't be for too long.

Chloe was in a similar place as Aubrey as she neither had her best friend to speak with, although that was entirely her fault, and had hurt Beca too many times to have the audacity to reach out to her. She wished that Aubrey would've mentioned her feelings towards Beca the previous year as then perhaps none of them would find themselves in this unfavorable situation where neither were really speaking with the other two. At least that way the sophomore would've been forced to decide between being with Aubrey or being with her, and the one who got turned down would have their answer. Though the brunette was more likely to choose her over Aubrey, which may have only lead them back to the situation they all faced currently, so perhaps this predicament was inevitable after all.


	11. Last Chance

The rest of the month passed the three women in a deafening silence as Beca busied herself with working on her mixes, running the booth at the radio station and leading The Bellas, none of whom suspected a thing. The sophomore had chosen to keep her personal life separate from school and rehearsals though she knew they'd be more than willing to listen to her if she needed to rant to them. Yet she'd done enough opening up in the past month to last her a lifetime, although it certainly wouldn't be the last of doing so - she still had yet to speak with Aubrey again. Beca wracked her brain for what to do next, but perhaps that was why she was greatly struggling with coming to a solution; it wasn't her head that had the answers, but her heart. Being evasive of anything that dealt with feelings by nature, however, the brunette did her best to convince herself she could get out of this mess by coming up with reasons for why she should or shouldn't pursue a relationship with Aubrey, or continue to fight to bring herself and Chloe back together. The answer may also be neither of those things and instead simply shut both women out of her life permanently. More accurate would be to shut Aubrey out, though, as it'd appear to Beca that Chloe had already beaten her to the punch.

She'd made Aubrey wait three excruciatingly frustrating weeks to hear from her, and so deciding it were time to face the issue of their feelings, she flopped onto her bed and picked up her phone to call. She knew she'd made it agonizing for the blonde to hold onto the hope that maybe they could become something more than just friends. It was a position the sophomore perfectly understood would be emotionally draining and filled with sleepless nights as she was positive that Aubrey was being tormented by all the possible 'what if's' that her mind could conjure up. It'd no doubt be a constant struggle the other woman as her mind would fill her with more hope so that should Beca turn her down the rejection would be all the more devastating, and to convince the blonde of why putting herself out there and why relationship with Beca could be one of the worst ideas she'd had.

"Beca?" The voice was feeble and sounded as if she hadn't had a good night's sleep in days.

"C…Chloe?" The sophomore questioned, pulling the phone away from her ear to check the number she'd called. Sure enough, a photo of Chloe's smiling face was there on the screen. She could've sworn she'd selected Aubrey in her contacts and had called her instead despite how the evidence was right in front of her that she'd called her ex instead. Should've deleted her number.

"Did you need something?" The blonde asked softly. "It's good to hear from you," she added in a nearly inaudible mumble.

"I… I actually called you by accident, but it's good to hear your voice too," she sighed lightly.

"Oh," Chloe replied flatly, assuming the person the sophomore had meant to call was Aubrey. They were probably blissfully together already.

"I didn't mean it like that," the brunette sighed.

"No, it's fine. I don't want to keep you from talking to your girlfriend," the blonde spat. She didn't mean to get so angry - she was the one who let go of Beca in the first place even though the younger woman had given her multiple chances to take her back.

"Chloe, Aubrey and I aren't dating; I haven't even spoken to her since you last saw us. Stop jumping to conclusions all the time. Why are you so upset with me?" The sophomore let out a weighted sigh.

"B-because!" Chloe shouted into the phone, causing the brunette to nearly drop hers.

"Why, Chloe? Did I do something wrong?" Beca's voice increased in volume as be brimmed with frustration.

"No! That's not it, Beca!" Chloe yelled back. "I… I don't like the thought of you being with someone else!"

"Are you kidding me right now? Last time I checked, I'd kept going to you, begging you to give our relationship another chance, and each time you said no. Do you think that was easy for me? You were the one that told me to move on and now that you see me trying to do just that, you're getting pissed at me and I don't get it!" Beca cried out, no longer able to contain her vexation.

"I know that!" Chloe's voice cracked. "I know, I just… I miss you, Beca," she sobbed.

"You should've thought of that before you continuously said no to me," the sophomore grumbled. It was cold to say such a thing, but it was the truth. At least, that's what she thought anyway.

"I know, Beca, I'm sorry. I really am. I pushed you away because I was so afraid that the longer we were together, the more I'd fall for you, but then one day you'd leave me behind for someone better. I let my fears get the better of me, and I'm so, so sorry, Beca. Please, I still want you, and I swear I'll try harder and not hurt you again," the blonde sniffed. It was a relief to finally get that in the open, but she feared it was too late now. It was Beca who was supposed to be saying all of this to her, not the other way around. But beneath Chloe's mirthful personality was someone who shared the same fears as the sophomore when it came to serious relationships; she was terrified of being forgotten or replaced, but unlike the brunette, she hadn't made the same effort to work past her insecurities, which was becoming evident to be her the reason for the relationship that she had with Beca behind its failure. But maybe, just maybe, by some stroke of luck the sophomore would give her another chance.

She'd dreamed of Chloe asking for her to come back - yearned for it - and now she had the chance to accept so that they could go back to being together. "I'm sorry too, Chloe," Beca sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I wish you'd told me this sooner; I'd have tried to help you - I'll still try to help if you through those fears, but I…" she squeezed her eyes shut. "I've waited so long for you to tell me you wanted to give us another shot, Chloe," the brunette murmured, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"I love you Beca," Chloe spoke meekly.

"I love you too, Chloe," Beca answered wearily. "But that's the last time I can say it. I tried reaching out to you, to get you to try us again, but you said no too many times. I can't - I'm sorry."

"Will we ever be able to be friends again, at least?"

"Yeah, I hope we are. I'm sorry, Chloe," the brunette sighed for what must've been the hundredth time.

"I… I understand," the blonde managed to squeak out.

"Will you be okay?"

"Eventually; I just need some time, but I'll bounce back."

"Take all the time you need," Beca mumbled, "I'm going to hang up now, okay?"

"Yeah. We'll talk again, later, at some point I hope. Goodbye, Beca."

"We will. Bye, Chloe."

Beca lay there for a few minutes, staring blankly up at the ceiling as she ran over what had just happened. They'd exchanged their final I love you's and this time she was the one to let Chloe go. Part of her wanted to call the other woman back, apologize, and try their relationship out again. But the sophomore knew that'd be a terrible idea. In the amount of time that she'd been out of touch with either Chloe or Aubrey, Beca had realized that in all this time, it was Aubrey who'd been there for her. No, they weren't the best of friends as Aubrey still kept some distance with the brunette, but Beca understood why now; Aubrey had been trying desperately to mask her feelings. It made the brunette feel guilty as she recounting the times she'd turned to Aubrey for advice, called her in the middle of the night when she was panicking and needed the blonde's natural level-headed approach to situations calm her down.

The sophomore had reached out to Chloe as well, but it was different speaking to her; the older woman often let her emotions guide her actions and words, but emotions could shift in the blink of an eye, and that scared Beca. Aubrey thought with her head. While it must had been an agonizing struggle to remain silent about her feelings for the sophomore, the blonde still kept her mouth shut in favour of not posing as a spike between her best friend's relationship with the woman she also happened to love.

"Aubrey? It's Beca," the brunette spoke calmly when the other woman answered her phone. "I'm ready to talk."

"Can we meet up tonight?" Aubrey asked cooly. She could feel her stomach knot up from her growing anxiety at the prospect of finally seeing the sophomore after weeks of hearing nothing from her.

The blonde's terse manner of speaking, which had often elicited a roll of the sophomore's eyes at any other given time, caused her to smirk instead. "Yeah, give me a time and place and I'll be there."

"My apartment in an hour."

"I'll see you then."

With plans to meet with the older woman in place, Beca hung up as she let her phone fall onto the bed beside her. She closed her eyes, trying to plan out what she was going to say though she knew the second she got to Aubrey's door, words would unsurprisingly fail her, and she'd most likely stammer through whatever it was she tried to say as she did her best to fathom her thoughts into comprehendible words.


	12. I'm Coming Home

Just as Beca had predicted, the instant she got to Aubrey's doorstep, everything she'd worked out in her mind to say had pulled a vanishing act. Frowning she let out a short, irked sigh and knocked on the door. She could feel her stomach doing flips as she waited for the blonde to let her in, her mind running through what could happen. That was something the two women had in common: they both over thought things until they'd created more problems than there had been to begin with.

"Hey. Come in," Aubrey greeted her cooly, stepping aside to let the sophomore in and shut the door behind her. Like Beca, she had done the same, going over everything that could either go sufficiently well or horribly wrong. Taking a seat on the couch, she motioned for the younger woman to follow suit. "So… You wanted to talk," she stated quietly, already mentally bracing herself to hear the famous words of 'I like you, but not in that way.'

"Yeah, I did," Beca swallowed. Inside her head was utter chaos; her thoughts running rampant in her mind as she stared down at the stitching of the couch cushion while she did her best to string together sentences with which to speak. "I've been thinking a lot about what you told me that day when we met up for coffee," she finally began again after a deafening silence that felt as if it'd lasted hours. "When I felt hopelessly lost, having a sleepless night, on the days where I felt as if the world was crashing down around me, you were there. I didn't know it because we hardly spoke, but whenever I needed you - reached out to you - you took your time to listen to me regardless of whatever else you were doing. I was too blind to realize it then, but you loved me - you've always loved me."

"I did; I always loved you, but I would've been there for you anyway," Aubrey nodded slowly, awaiting what the younger woman would follow up with anxiously.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to figure that out. I hope I'm not too late in saying this, but I love you too, Aubrey. I guess I just needed a push to see that," she shot the other woman a feeble smile.

"You're not too late, Beca," the blonde reached out, cupping Beca's face with her hands as she leaned in and placed a gentle kiss upon her lips.

"If I may ask, how long have you loved me?" The sophomore questioned softly, when they'd pulled away.

Aubrey gave a light sigh, her eyes darting to the side as she thought before refocusing on the young woman before her. "To be honest, I'm not really sure. By the time I realized I loved you, I knew that I'd loved you long before that so I can't tell you when exactly I started loving you, but I can say it was starting some time last year."

"That's… A long time. And you had to watch Chloe and me be together too… I can only imagine how excruciatingly painful that must've been for you," the brunette mumbled.

"It did hurt, but as long as you were happy, then I couldn't complain - I just want you to be happy, Beca," a meek, though not any less sincere, smile tugged at the corners of Aubrey's mouth.

"I am with you," she murmured her reply, pressing her lips against the other woman's, causing the blonde's smile to widen more.

"I love you, Beca," Aubrey mumbled, pulling the younger woman down with her gently as her back lay against the couch cushion.

"I love you too, Aubrey," the sophomore whispered, placing a hand beside the older woman's head to support her weight upon as the other instinctively came to rest on Aubrey's shoulder momentarily before gliding down the front of her body and through the valley of her breasts, eliciting a low groan from her, as she placed light kisses on the older woman's collarbone. Her thumb slipped under the hem of Aubrey's shirt, but paused to see if there would be any objections as her eyes searched the blonde's face.

"Don't stop," Aubrey let out breathlessly.

"I've barely even touched you and you're already this turned on?" The sophomore arched an eyebrow, smirking.

"Shut up, Mitchell," she hissed, throwing the younger woman a glare that was softened by the playful smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

Beca gave a short laugh in response as her hand skimmed up Aubrey's stomach, earning herself a low groan. Just as she did before, however, she stopped and after shifting her weight so that she was straddling the blonde's waist, the sophomore took hold of Aubrey's hands, guiding her back into an upright position long enough to remove her shirt and discard it as it pooled on the floor beside the couch. Her own shirt was next as Beca tugged it over her head and dropped it off the side as it joined the other shirt that was lying there in a rumpled heap. She nudged Aubrey onto her back once more as she bent over and kissed her lips tenderly, her tongue gliding along the older woman's lower lip, who gave way to a soft whimper as she parted her lips, allowing for Beca's tongue to slip inside. The sophomore's hands caressed the side of Aubrey's breasts slowly before gliding her hands down the blonde's sides, snaking them around to undo her pants, and tugged them off, followed by her own, as the clothing was dropped on top of the shirts.

One of Beca's hands skated back up the older woman's body, cupping her breast in her palm and kneading it gently as low moan tumbled off the blonde's lips as her other hand slipped her hand into her underwear. She teased the wet folds of Aubrey's entrance with her fingers, before easily sliding two fingers inside

Aubrey let out a throaty moan as she felt herself tighten around Beca's fingers as she arched her back, pressing her body against the sophomore's, who left kisses from her neck up to he mouth once more, muffling the benign moans. The women used their bodies both as expressions of love and as apologies; one for forcing herself to remain silent about her true feelings and the other for making her wait as she still had yet to figure out with whom her heart was truly with. Their lips making silent promises of never leaving each other, tongues soothing healing wounds of yearning, hands finding each other as fingers became interlaced together. Aubrey's free hand tangled into Beca's hair, tugging at her chestnut waves that cascaded down, curtaining the sides of her face as she worked her way from the older woman's lips to her neck, teeth claiming as imprints were left upon the flesh of Aubrey's neck.

She rolled hips rolled against Beca's hand to gain more friction, to which the sophomore complied as she pressed the palm of her hand against the other woman's clit while she continued to pump her fingers in and out of the blonde at a quick pace. Aubrey could feel herself teetering on the precipice of her climax, and minutes later cried out Beca's name in pleasure as her grip on the younger woman's hair and her hand tightened as the orgasm surged through her body. The brunette retracted her hand when Aubrey had completely come undone, her tongue wrapping around her fingers as she licked them clean and leaned down to kiss the other woman once more, who could taste herself on Beca's lips.

"I love you," Aubrey murmured, still trying to catch her breath as she wrapped her arms around the sophomore's neck.

"I love you too," Beca smiled warmly down at the older woman, kissing her once more before resting her head on Aubrey's chest, while her fingers tracing lazy circles on her shoulder.


	13. The Pursuit of Happiness

A month of silence had passed between Beca and Chloe since their brief phone conversation and two months since Aubrey had spoken to her best friend. Though perhaps former best friend was a more fitting title now as she wasn't sure where she stood with the other woman anymore since her discovery of Aubrey's feelings for Beca. Both ached to hear from Chloe, missing the friendships they'd had with her prior to the whole chaos that'd broke out between them all, although the sophomore wasn't entirely expecting her ex-girlfriend to be eager to jump back into a friendship with her, as even when they were together, their relationship had become severely strained. She was, however, surprised that Chloe hadn't attempted to speak with Aubrey at all despite how much she was most likely still hurting, but perhaps she just needed more time. Either way it wasn't something that the brunette felt much of a need to interfere in; that was between Chloe and Aubrey.

As for her own relationship with Aubrey, they were going strong. They had their disagreements here and there, but nothing they never managed to work out by the end of the day. Beca felt more relaxed than she ever had previously in any other relationship, including the one she'd had with Chloe as the sophomore always concerned herself with when the next time she'd see the older woman would be and how to keep what they had going despite how it being a somewhat long distance relationship. But there was none of that with Aubrey as she spent most of her free time at her girlfriend's anyway.

"Have you been in touch with Chloe at all?" Aubrey asked casually one morning, turning to face the sophomore who occupied the other half of her bed.

"No, I figured if she wanted to talk to me she could reach out, but I don't want to cause her any more stress since last time we spoke," she shrugged.

"Yeah… She was pretty upset at the coffee shop," the blonde murmured which caused Beca to realize she hadn't mentioned their call.

"She and I actually spoke on the phone before I called you last month. I dialed her number and that was when I got the real reason why she wouldn't give her and me a chance. She told me she loved me and wanted to try our relationship again, but I told her no, obviously," the sophomore explained tentatively in hopes her girlfriend wouldn't be too upset.

"Oh," was all Aubrey replied with.

"Are you mad?"

"No, why should I be? How exactly did you say no to her, if I may ask?"

Beca inhaled deeply, as she readied herself to recount the details of the conversation. "She apologized for hurting me and asked to try again, as I said. She told me that she was afraid one day I'd leave her for someone else and I told her I was sorry too for how things had turned out and told her I'd be willing to help her through those fears. That's when she said that she loved me, I said it back and then explained that was the last time I could tell her that because she'd said no too many times, and by then I'd already realized that I loved you, although I didn't tell her that last part. We hung up after that and we haven't spoken since. You know I don't love her, though, right?"

"I think… I think you do," Aubrey sighed.

"Aubrey-" Beca was cut off as the blonde raised a hand to stop her.

"But that's okay. While I don't know what your past relationships were like, I do know that you cared deeply for Chloe, and a love like that isn't one you just let go of that easily. Part of you may always love her no matter how much we love each other, but that's okay, Beca. What you two had isn't something I want you to forget and replace entirely, but just… Don't wake up one day and realize you want that relationship again more than ours," Aubrey murmured, staring down at her lap.

"Aubrey, I'm not leaving you for anyone. When I was still keeping my distance from you both to figure out what I wanted, I realized then I wanted you more than anything. Like I told you that day we spoke after that time of silence between us, you were always there for me no matter what, and that's not something I can just ignore so easily. Chloe and I are over for good - I made that clear to her. I love you, Aubrey, more than anything and I'll do whatever it takes to make sure you know that. I love you so much," Beca whispered, tucking the curtain of golden hair behind the other woman's ear and gently placed her hand on the other side of her girlfriend's face, turning it to meet her gaze, and pressed her lips to Aubrey's. "I love you," the younger woman mumbled.

"I love you, too," the blonde whispered in response, kissing Beca again. A lengthy silence passed between them, Aubrey's arm draped around the brunette's shoulder as she rested her head against the older woman's shoulder. "Maybe we should call her and see how she's doing."

"I don't really know if she wants to talk to me, but I think she might like hearing from you."

"Well you won't know that unless you try to talk to her."

"Fine," Beca agreed.

Aubrey reached over to retrieve her phone off the bedside table as she selected Chloe from her contacts.

"You're calling her now?"

"Why not?" The blonde questioned.

"Just wondering. You may not want to mention I'm here, though."

"I'm not going to," she reassured Beca as she pressed call. "Hey Chloe, just wanted to call to see how you were - it's been a while."

"Hey, Aubrey," Chloe's voice answered wearily. "I've missed you, and I also want to apologize for the whole thing at the coffee shop that day."

"It's fine, really. I was thinking we should meet up some time as it'd be nice to see you again, if you wanted."

"Of course. It's kind of a short notice, but how about later today at that coffee place since I don't have anything planned? How are… You and Beca?" She practically had to choke out the words. She assumed the two had to be together by now.

"That works and we're fine, thanks," Aubrey replied hesitantly, not wanting to upset her friend more than she knew Chloe already was from the mere thought of her and her ex together.

"If Beca's not doing anything you could invite her too."

"Are you sure you want to see us together, Chloe? You don't have to push yourself, you know."

"I know, Aubrey, but… If I'm going to be friends with you both I'm going to have to get used to it, so might as well make it the three of us."

"Well… Okay. We'll be there in an hour?" Aubrey suggested.

"Yeah, I'll see you both then," Chloe confirmed before hanging up.

"Do you mind?" She asked turning to Beca.

"I don't think I really have much of a choice, but I don't mind," the brunette smirked.

The couple walked into the coffee shop a little earlier than the agreed upon time, Aubrey ordering the drinks as Beca got them a table. A few minutes later Chloe entered, instantly spotting the two women as she ordered her drink and joined them.

"Hey," she mumbled, smiling meekly, briefly glancing between the two women before her: her best friend and her ex, who were now a couple.

"Hey," the sophomore answered awkwardly in return.

"How've you been?" Aubrey tried to get a conversation going so as to avoid the uncomfortable silence that threatened to hang over them otherwise.

"Fine, actually," Chloe's usual confidence returning. "I've missed you both, but I've been pretty good."

"Really? I'm glad to hear it. We've both missed you; it was strange not talking to my best friend for so long."

"Yeah, sorry about that, and I know I had no right to get angry with you either since you can't control how you feel."

"Well it's all in the past now - I'm just happy you're back," Aubrey smiled.

"What have you been up to?" Beca added to the conversation, wanting to get things back to how they were before she and Chloe had even been in a relationship and knew that wouldn't be possible if she didn't try to make an effort to move whatever they were now - friends, she hoped, by the end of their meeting - in that direction.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking, actually. It still hurts to see you two together, but I know I have to be able to be okay with it too because I want you both back in my life as well. I've missed my best friend and I've missed the friendship you and I had. I also came to the conclusion that I'd placed too much of my happiness on you, Beca. I depended on you to understand me and keep fighting for us, but when you were the one to say no to me, that's when it had dawned on me that I'd been putting too much pressure on you and that may have also been why you left. But at the same time, while in some way I'm sorry I didn't notice that sooner, I think things have worked out for the best. I've finally come to the conclusion that I don't need someone else to make me happy, and relying on someone to be the source of my happiness is only asking for heartbreak later. I need to be happy on my own first, before I can be happy with someone else," Chloe gave a small shrug.

"Wow," the sophomore replied, impressed. "I think subconsciously I felt pressured, but I didn't understand why until you put it into words. You will be happy, Chloe. Maybe not tomorrow or even next week, but you'll get there and we'll both be here if there's anything we can do to help," the brunette smirked, gesturing between herself and Aubrey.

"Beca's right - we will be here for you."

"Thanks, really, I'm glad you'll still be here for me despite what I've put you both through."

"Of course; we've been friends for years, Chloe, so I'm not going to let a small wrinkle in our friendship such as this get between us for good," Aubrey gave an assured nod.

"All friends have their arguments, but that doesn't have to end the friendship, though I guess that's pretty much what Aubrey just said," the sophomore rolled her eyes, "But yeah, I'm still here. That's all in the past anyway, so instead of being stuck in it we might as well try to move forward, right?"

"Yeah, you're right," Chloe laughed. "So… Friends again?"

"Definitely; we never really stopped being friends, though, just needed a break to clear our heads," Aubrey smiled, Beca nodding and Chloe laughing softly in agreement.

This was a significant improvement for all three of them as they were now on the path to mending their friendships with each other as Chloe worked towards finding her happiness, which seemed more possible than before now that she was sure she knew she had the support of her two friends, now back in her life, much to her relief. Perhaps they needed the falling out so that they could come back together stronger, as cliche and probably ridiculous as that sounded, but that's what they chose to believe anyway. Though whether or not that was in fact true, things were working out and that was all they could each ask for.


End file.
